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So far away, we wait for the day, though the light source's all wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on
I never would have guessed that "the day" would be "today". But at long last, "the day" is today. I took my math final this morning, it took me about three hours, I still have yet to see the score, but now I'm all done. It's been one helluva semester. One helluva four year period. But now, I'm done, and unless I change my mind, it's onto a world that is not shaped like a hamster wheel like college is. I might not be taking the orthodox route, leaving, but I've been forced to wait for everything, and I've waited long enough. I'm going to be taking a break for awhile, and I'm hoping to improve all the skills I wish I were really good at, and I'm getting the ball rolling on cosmetology school. I realize that there are challenges anywhere I go in life, but I have plans and lots of hopes and events scheduled for the near and distant future. At my school, they assign us student identification numbers, and, The Prisoner so famously said "I am not a number, I am a a free man! Ahahaha!" That was my high school shout-out, but since I graduated high school I have become wiser. Though I can say I'm finally FREE! nobody is ever truly free. I am, however, no longer bound to a specific obligation that is not so much of my choosing, and I think that even I know I am a mystery, and whatever happens next is a mystery, despite my immediate and long-term plans. Even though math is, as we all know, one of my most challenging subjects, I can now say it out loud, it would be more appropriate to say it out loud, I must say it out lout:
I AM NOT A NUMBER, I AM UNCONSTRAINED VARIABLE! AHAHAHA!
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on
I never would have guessed that "the day" would be "today". But at long last, "the day" is today. I took my math final this morning, it took me about three hours, I still have yet to see the score, but now I'm all done. It's been one helluva semester. One helluva four year period. But now, I'm done, and unless I change my mind, it's onto a world that is not shaped like a hamster wheel like college is. I might not be taking the orthodox route, leaving, but I've been forced to wait for everything, and I've waited long enough. I'm going to be taking a break for awhile, and I'm hoping to improve all the skills I wish I were really good at, and I'm getting the ball rolling on cosmetology school. I realize that there are challenges anywhere I go in life, but I have plans and lots of hopes and events scheduled for the near and distant future. At my school, they assign us student identification numbers, and, The Prisoner so famously said "I am not a number, I am a a free man! Ahahaha!" That was my high school shout-out, but since I graduated high school I have become wiser. Though I can say I'm finally FREE! nobody is ever truly free. I am, however, no longer bound to a specific obligation that is not so much of my choosing, and I think that even I know I am a mystery, and whatever happens next is a mystery, despite my immediate and long-term plans. Even though math is, as we all know, one of my most challenging subjects, I can now say it out loud, it would be more appropriate to say it out loud, I must say it out lout:
I AM NOT A NUMBER, I AM UNCONSTRAINED VARIABLE! AHAHAHA!
Patterns Through Time
I've noticed a pattern that has repeated itself throughout my years at college. Something drastic happens within the last few weeks of the Spring semester. In 2013, my first year, I got bitten by my neighbor's dog and I needed to go into Urgent Care to get it x-rayed and to get a tetanus booster and antibiotics. In 2014, my second year, we had to move. Last year, I broke my toe in ballet class. This year, my mental issues worked itself to a head, and I dropped all but two of my classes. Then, on Sunday night, I couldn't stand it anymore, I had had enough with my Communications class (group projects remind me why Batman fights alone), and thou
Auditions-also known as the Game of Lapdogs
They always tell you to have fun at auditions. It's standard advice, especially at dance auditions. When I went in and auditioned for the fall dance concert, I bumped into my choreography teacher and when she asked me how I was doing, I told her I was nervous and she told me to just have fun. Only thing is, I cannot have fun at auditions. Auditions are humiliating, embarrassing walks of shame that are a fiasco waiting to happen, with the panelists silently ripping you to shreds with your every move.
I have a permanently negative association with auditions. My first ever audition was when I was in fifth grade, when I auditioned for the choir,
I Ain't'nt Dead
No, quite the opposite, it feels like I'm back from the dead. I have't been here in awhile, because I vowed to never go back on dA, and because I vowed to never draw again. Needless to say, both vows were (fortunately) sworn in vain, and I'm returning. This semester is rather icky, and I'm glad I'm on the tail end of it. I'm taking:
Weight Training
Choreography
History 110
Ballet
Math 46
Plus Sanitation and Management, which I dropped in August.
All right, not all my classes suck, but the semester as a whole sucks. No morning classes, but Tuesday and Thursday go from 11:10 AM to 6:45 PM, and by that point all I can think about is dinne
Inversely Proportionate/Writing Rant
All right, here is a rant. About how when I spend hours on a drawing, I put sweat, blood, and tears into a drawing, put love into every brushstroke, post it here on dA, and it only gets a handful of faves and comments, but a stamp or poster that only takes me five minutes to make, those get more faves than I can thank for and more comments than I can reply to. Not that I'm complaining about the faves and comments I do get, but it seems that it's only fair to get out of a deviation what I put into it. It pisses me off to no end to have slaved for hours on a drawing, post it, then hover over my inbox, waiting for faves and comments that never s
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good post, but better get used to it, more than often we're seen only as numbers!x,x 
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