I'll Show Them All

I sit here, wondering why I keep on
I really should be giving up
there are some things I want but cannot have

Not in this lifetime, I'll never be
an Olympic gold medalist, but a next best thing, hopefully

My betters look down with superiority
which heighten my feelings of inferiority
my own desire and nihilistic zeal
all that I want is to make my dreams real

As I keep on so that I will play tough
onlookers tell me I'm not good enough
So-called do-gooders they mockingly grin
as they calmly tell me that I'll never win

One minute you tell me that I am a champ
the next thing you tell me that I am a tramp
so make up your mind, for crying out loud!
why must you crush me, my chance to be proud?

But I'll show them all that I can hold my own
but my tendency to give up runs clear to the bone
But I think that I've had a change of mind
this time I want to leave it all behind

I'm paying a price to rise to the top
even though it seems I that really should stop

As I'll show them all that I can make them bleed
I'm finding it hard to follow a positive creed
delusions of grandeur, inadequacy
though I see the prize with clarity

As I feel my limbs ache right down to my soul
someday I hope that I will take my toll.
...